New Years Resolution..

all riggggght so the past couple days have been CHILL. like all the other days in my past. and tomorrow i'm off to RENO! once again. -_____-" hahaha. so EARLY HAPPY NEW YEARS! so anyways, this year has been an experience I would never forget. I had my ups & downs buhh i'm still holdin' it down. I became one of the head promoters for Bayfunktion, went to the TI concert, met Surpreme Soul numerous times, got close to A LOT of people, house parties, hotel parties, cotillions, SF trips, and lots and lots MORE. It was a pretty good year for me! (= I had my bad moments as well but I dont wanna mention any of them. So for the 2009 year I'm really willing to complete more than half of what my resolutions are.

001. Lose LBS.
002. ASHLEY KNOWS[:
003. Get a NEW job!
004. Try and get a 3.5 GPA Junior year.
005. Organize Cotillion entourage & dance 6 months ahead of time.
006. Keep room clean.
007. Not eat a lot of Junk Food.
008. Update my Journal more often.
009. Kickit with SILVERbruhhhh. (the only reason why i put this up is cas i havent seen him since i first met him, which was in 2005.)
010. Go to a Dance workshop with Jarrell[:
011. Maintain usage of my Cell Phone. (NO HIGH BILL!)
012. Grow out hair (ONLY TRIM ALLOWED!)
013. Have Fun(=
014. Take the SATs or ACTs.
015. Start applying for Colleges & Financial Aid.
016. TRY to kickit with Khanh more often.
017. NEED to go to a GS Warriors game with BFFL
018. Take written test at DMV
019. Learn how to DJ with kuya karl & bianca!
020. COMPLETE MORE THAN HALF OF THIS LIST!!! (=


thats all i can think of, so yeeeeeah. I better complete more than half! [:

...

so here's the deal.

The funktion was somewhat crackin'! i thought it was more CHILL. no i was not high! hahaha. we got MITCH&FROST from surpreme soul to go last minute. mitch remembers me from WOD! [: LOL. thats my boy you already know! my mom gave me, bianca, ashley, melanie, & chris a ride there. i met new promoters. saw people from school. they had fun for their first funktion. i met ALAN<33 omgggg. hella cute tho! hahaha. Chris Brown's twin! for real for real! he's a definite EYE CANDY ;] funktion ended got $$$ from lady p, bayfunktion lanyard[: & feet hurt super bad! hahaha. mom picked us up and teddy got a ride back as well. then mom bought all of us IN N OUT! ayeee! hahaha. spent like $40 in that bitch. dropped everyone home. went home ate. stupid late night drama shit with dumb ass people. done. i dont want them bitches in my life anymore. its all bullshit & stress for no damn reason.

PATRICK IS SLEEPING OVER THIS WEEKEND! i miss that nigga<33 going to Brentwood errr whaaa?!?! i d k. buhh it'll be a chill weekend!

CHRISTMAS felt like an ordinary day. nothing special. REAL TALK. i only got a jacket for Christmas. and i doubt i'll wear it anywhere. whatever. I'm done with the whole Christmas spirit. honestly. everything has changed. so i dont care anymore.

FINALLY the year 2008 is about to end. hella glad. only 3 more weeks until my birthday! hopefully its one i can be happy about. cas this years wasnt great. Major change in me for 2009? I HOPE SO! i'll still be the same girl tho, somewhat. i gotta try harder in school thats for sure. parents bitchin' over the quarter grades. whatever.

PARENTS GOING TO RENO & house to the sisters! ayeeee! i cant fuckin' wait. smoke weed feel high like its legit(= drrrrraaaaaank all night sleep all day! [: YOUALREADYKNOW!

Take A Bow..

I honestly think that I was so much happier when I was younger. I look in my past and the smile I would show had a meaning. This time, its different. I feel like everythings changed.. and theres no way to turn back. I wish that everything can just get back to normal. Late Night Phone Hypes with Khanh&Aj, trying to call Julian every weekend, kicking it with the BFFL Ashley more. It all just faded. I understand thats how life is, but I really hate it. I just feel so depressed. I wish I can be happy again. My NUMBER ONE Christmas wish is to be Happy again. To remember what its like to be infatuated with some guy or something. I d k. Maybe I'm trippin'. Maybe that everything thats happened to me was just meant to happen... ]:

WORST DAY EVER!

well lets kick back from last week. SORRY MY INTERNET HAS BEEN DOWN! anywho. Last friday i saw martin for the first time. i got to meet nick&calvin too. it was hella chill. i had fun. went to downtown SF and then HOOTERS(= on our way to hooters some crazy ass vietnamese fool was stalking us. CREEEEPY!! LOL. got home around 12 something. Chill weekend. went by fast.

THIS WEEK!
MONDAY. nothing really happend
TUESDAY. i ditched my 4th cas i didnt feel like going and i hung out with martin AGAIN! hahaha. he got me this hello kitty&blues clues wallet. hella cute tho! (=
WEDNESDAY. i hung out with martin AGAIN! hahaha. THIS TIME HE CAME DOWN HERE! i got my nails done & chilled. i went with him going back to $F cas i needed to do presale runs! (= once i got home nikkibaby came over and picked up presales then lady p came over and gave me MORE presales(= gahhhhh.
THURSDAY. made quesadillas in spanish 2! fabian can cook like dayummm! during lunch i felt sick so i went home. stressed over presales ]: lady p came over ONCE AGAIN and drop me off 4 more tickets! teehee. HAPPY 3 YEARS MAMA<33 RIP 121805 I MISS YOU!
FRIDAY. MARTIN FLAKED OUT ON ME... -_____-" not cool. stupid nick & calvin. ughhhh. i felt like shit after school tho. ]: i wanted to dieeeeee. like REAL TALK! if it wasnt for justin then i think i would have been dead by now. honestly i was about to go that low. justin feels that its just cas im on my period. LOL! and even tho i am THATS NOW THE REASON! i just felt like shittttt hella bad! aaaaand i wanted to kill myself! i've been SUPER stressed out the past few days and nothing seemed to help me. ]: i seriously hate my life. for real for real! ANYWAYS! i went to great mall after school. saw SOME D-A-D-D-I-E-$! youalreadyknow! ;] ohhh i saw tony again! yeeeeah! and kicked it with the wannabe d-pryde RUSSEL! hahaha. jk! ughhhh i want it to be SUNDAY ALREADY!

BAYFUNKTION TEEN EVENT THIS SUNDAY! MY BIRTHDAY BASH! I CANT FUCKIN' WAIT!!! (=
I'M ALMOST SOLD OUT OF PRESALES! YESSSSS!! i hate how the presales are stressin' me down too! )= buhh it'll all be worth it!! I THINK I FOUND MY OUTFIT! yeeeeeah! aaaaand IT CAN NEVER TOP ROCKETSHIP! me &melanie already know that! im in need to party!!! ;] twerk like theres no tomorrow!

Days gone by

FRIDAY. it seemed like a fast day. school was its boring self. and i hate it there. its like no one is as close as before. no one is hardly there. its not the same. after school was okay. went home. ended up NOT going to the viewing. cas it was "intermediate family" so it was okay. that night went to milpitas. Q-CUP. saw manry, alyssa, justin, & ryan jordan. freakin' RJ tried to steal my chicken! LOL. then went to dad's work & then union city. in-n-out & walmart. went home then to BFFL's house. LAST MINUTE sleep over. teehee. stayed up until 3 something in the am and woke up at 11. i love the talks i have with my BFFL. (=

SATURDAY. Janessa's 8th birthday party. it was cute. PACQUIAO SMASHED ON DE LA HOYA! TKO END OF 8TH ROUND! teehee. [: thats basically all that happend.

SUNDAY. JAYPEE FLAKED... Tito Mondang's viewing. it was okay. not all that great. i couldnt go up to see his face. i was too scared. honestly i hate death's. even when its someone i barely know. once we got home i uploaded all the pictures from the weekend. i was listening to music and i started to think about julian. his song "one i adore" was playing. i felt like crying my eyes out cas of how much i miss him. Yeah i always talk about him on here, but seriously i BARELY talk about him outloud. its too painful. i cant handle it. Deaths are suppose to make people happy, not sad. because it brings everyone closer and you know that person will forever be looking over you. the family started planning what we are doing to mama's 3 year death anniversary. i dont know if i can make it cas of rhea's cotillion. but the REAL date of her death ima go to church. thats for sure. i miss mama. i miss julian. i just want to see them ONE LAST TIME and tell them how much they mean to me. See you soon you guys. I'll be happy soon once I'm with you guys.

I feel like crap.

Winter brings out the laziness in everyone. it really does! with the cold weather it makes me want to stay home all day and sleep. NOT COOL! hahaha. so on monday i got this shot, actually 4. two on each arm. and the one on my left arm hurts like a bitch! it hurts hella bad!! ]: like i feel like ripping my arm off! uggggh.

anyways school is lame. i feel like not being there anymore. im so careless when it comes to school. teen event is 2 weeks away and i need to sell these damn presales! hahaha want one? [: kicking it with jaypee on sunday(= ayeee! hahaha. that fool hella flaked on me yesterday! LOSER. but its cooooool i love him to much to be mad at him. haha. and what he said earlier on the phone "dont forget sunday okay! NO FLAKING!" hahaha i should be telling HIM that! life is lame. feeling like shit constantly isnt really a good thing. but oh well. like sergio says "LIFE GOES ON." and mine shall go on.


VIEWING tomorrow for tito mondang. i hope edward, shane, and JP are okay. -___-" i hate funerals. its to sad. especially in december. Its almost been 3 years since mama left. WHY?! thats one question that will remain in my head until i leave everyone. I miss the way mama would tell me stories when she was in the Philippines. I miss the way she would sing "You are my sunshine" when i was younger. We miss you mama. The cousins miss you. Your kids miss you. I MISS YOU. i hope to see you soon<3

Walk Through Memory Lane.

Today i didnt go to school today because i hella did not feel good. My stomach is just hella actin' up. -___-" anywho i texted angie telling her i wasnt going to school and then we started talking about this thing we made back in 8th grade. EMO MEETS GANGSTUHH. est. 01.01.06. its been almost two years since our friendship became tighter and closer. and whoa those two years went by hella quick. On the real though, life is going by hella fast. Honestly if it weren't for my friends and family, i wouldnt be the person i am today. especially my BFFL, Ashley! on thanksgiving she texted me something hella sweet, and i felt hella appreciative. Like we seem total opposite but we really are alike in many ways. If she was never in my life, then mine would be hella different. or what she says "Without you, my life would be so blank!" teehee. There are some shit in the past that I still havent let go. The fact that I had my heart broken numerous times, or the fact that I lost many people I love. Its hard to face reality, especially when reality smacks you down like a pimp hitting his bitch! teehee. jk. but for real, yeah life is complicated but I guess we all have to deal with it.


Anyways! the party on saturday, CRAZY! Melanie&I seriously pulled an all nighter.. like no sleep at all that day! We would like close our eyes for like a minute or two, but we were awake all day! Lol. Well we met up with Misty&Vanessa at El Cerrito Del Norte and went to Jollibee. It was so weird cas we were sitting at the corner table and when we were about to leave Melanie noticed that the guy sitting near me, who was on his laptop, was looking at some SEX SITE! hahaha. after Jollibee we went to Misty's house and chilled for like 30-45 minutes or so? Then it was off to Edrick's house! and let me tell you! his house is hella crackin'! haha. We went to help out even though there was nothing to help out with! so we went to safeway and got some drinks for the bartender. we chilled until everyone came and it was pretty fun. Dancing with a strobe light is fun, yet scary.. teehee. it was hard finding a ride home, cas i forgot to tell misty to take us home early! buhh mel&I eventually found a ride home. The party was DOPE. i had major fun. kicked it with Norman! My "Eagle1" SHHHHH(= hahaha. and Melanie took my phone and texted Elijah[: oh my gawwwwd such a fuckin' EYE CANDY ;] hahaha. He is our PAPI CHULO(= hahaha. That party was a night to remember. I can't wait until the next time I'ma see them.




Also, Rest In Paradise Tito Mondang! Even though I barely saw you around, you meant a lot to Shane, Edward, and JP. Watch over them for me[:

and Rest In Paradise to Nicolen's DAD! 11.30.08 I'm here for you girl! My condolences to you and your family.

all nighter?!

sooooo i guess i am pulling an all nighter tonight! aaaaand around 8 ima get ready to go to VALLEJO! parrrrrrty hardy with my party buddddddy MELANIE! we are going to see Misty and the gang all over again! shoot i havent seen them in 2 weeks and im hella stoked! i still have to do flyer runs & sell my presales! [: i cant wait for the next funktion. so thanksgiving was okay... i went to OAKLEY, some city passing pittsburg. it was my kuya brian's birthday so my mom decided for us to go there, since my other cousins are in reno... shooooot and for black friday i woke up dummy late! like 2PM. and didnt go shopping until 5pm. didnt really get a lot buhh spent all my money. -_____-" i still have enough for bart tho! [: teehee. well im bored and got 4 hours to entertain myself. byeee!

BACK & READY TO PROMOTE!

so i got home from reno around 7:15-ish today. and im light weight tired. ive been online since i got home & i saw the flyer for the NEW UPCOMING BAYFUNKTION TEEN EVENT! its called NAUGHTY OR NICE and will be at Abyss Night Club in Sunnyvale! i hella cant wait cas ITS MY BIRTHDAY BASH! so you guys better go! and if you need flyers or presales you can get at me! [: shooooot i feel like ive been hella MIA with promoting since World Of Dance 2008. but its cool! im meeting new people & get to see my promoters again! LOL. ohhhh how i miss all of them! haha. so DJ KEVIN stopped by my house and dropped off HELLA flyers! hahaha. and im catching up with JAYPEE and GRANT! i hella cant wait for this teen event[: jaypee says the only reason im stoked is cas its my birthday bash & im on the flyer. pshhhhh hahaha. that loser. and i told him that the only reason he likes the flyer is cas im on it[: HAHAHA. so anyways DECEMBER is about to roll through hella fast! i cant wait. this saturday im going to a partyyyyy in vallejo. next friday i might go to eastridge to promote. and i gotta plan a kickit day with jaypee! cas its almost his birthday[: telly party tho! hahaha youalreadyknow! i cant wait for that shit!


SO IM BACK FROM RENO & IM READY TO PROMOTE!! [:

Gone for vacation?

so today is my dad's 50th birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD! [: although you may seem hella lame, you know i got maaaaaad love for you. cas if it wasnt for your sperm then i would have never been born. HAHAHA. gross right?! anywho tomorrow i will be going to RENO! what joy. i havent been there in forever. the only thing that sucks about it is that i'm going to be spending Julian's one year stuck in a hotel room. oh well i will be thinking about the NASA HOTEL song then! i barely packed anything and i'm just waiting for the laundry to finish up so i can complete my luggage. and then i have to do my spanish 2 homework and possibly english. shooooot i've been hella lazy when it comes to homework now cas of the weather. the sad cloudy days make me super lazy. well hopefully this vacation will take my mind off a lot. I hope its snowing there too[: i havent seen the snow in forever! well back to packing! hope you all have a safe & fun vacation. and Happy thanksgiving to you and your family<33


so like i said on monday, November 24, 2008, it will be Julian Alexander Nalos's Death Anniversary. its only been ONE YEAR since he has left me. and for some reason i cant cry about it.... i can still remember what i did that day. and 2 days after he died that's when i found out... it still hurts me pretty hard that he's left me. Although i feel that he is gone, i know that he's always with me. he has that special place in my heart that no other guy can ever replace. There were days through out this year when i would cry my eyes out just cas i missed Julian so much. buhh then i would try so hard not to let it get to me. cas he wouldnt like seeing me like that. Sometimes i would call his phone, just to hear his voice. or even play his songs "NASA HOTEL" "ONE OF A KIND" or "ONE I ADORE" those were specifically my favorites. I just wish that i would have talked to him more. waking up the day of November 26, 2007 thinking about Julian, asking myself how he's been... and a few minutes later i find out that he's left without a goodbye. it kills me inside but i cant do anything but deal with it. and even though that you are not here anymore Julian, i want to let you know that i will NEVER forget you. and you'll also be in my heart. best believe that. you STILL mean the whole world to me. yeah i will still have those days when i cry my eyes out buhh its all out of love. one day we will be together and we'll talk for hours and hours about the past, present, and future that lie ahead for us. I LOVE YOU JULIAN ALEXANDER NALOS<33


Rest In Paradise Julian Alexander Nalos<3
10.21.88-11.24.07

Today

It felt like it was such a slow ass day today... i woke up a little late and just got ready for school. and all the classes were just boring. i d k if its just me. well after that i went to milpitas cas my little sister had an ortho appointment for her braces. and that took daaaays! well it only took like an hour buhh it was the longest hour of my life!! ANYWAYS although i barely know some of the people in misty's entourage from her cotillion, i miss them already! that day was just so much fun. me and edrick are planning on going to frisko sometime. with me, him, melanie, misty, vanessa, and everyone else! whoever is down. me & melanie want to go ICE SKATING! you already know! tryna plan it sometime at the end of december or so. buhh yeah. i cant wait for that. SO i found some more people for my entourage and i just need 4 more guys and 1 more girl? i think thats it. buhh i seriously CAN NOT wait!

Main Reason

so the main reason i basically started this thing is cas i really HATE keeping my feelings inside. and sometimes i feel that there's no one i can turn too. although it seems like i'm not that type of person, trust me, I AM. i stress over the stupidest things and that makes me stress even more. Other than school and friends, there is also my family that i stress about the most. I just want to move out of the house already and be independent. behind closed doors i feel like im someone i'm not. i hate that i cry all the time and theres no one there to have a shoulder to lean on, or tell me that everything is okay. yeah i have my BFFL's but to me i just that they are there for me. yeah, it hurts me but i guess thats the way god wanted me to live my life. i just wish that there's someone who'll always be there. someone who i can call at 3 in the morning cas im having problems, or someone i can talk to when i want to hurt myself or others. everything is just so different now. honestly im not tryna sound all emo or anything, but thats the way my life has been...



i just wish that everything would go back to when i was happy again....

Cotillion in the making!

so i have one year and 2 months until i turn 18. like most filipino girls, i'll be having a Cotillion. being the person i am, i NEED to plan early. cas i hella hate planning things at the very last minute cas i dont need that type of stress. so far i've found some people for my roses and candles. and recently i've been trying to find people to be in my entourage, which are the people who will be dancing choreographed dances with me. the colors i am hoping for are cinderella colors. my entourage will wear baby blue & black, while me and my escort will wear baby blue & white. hella cute right? i am also planning it on being at Milpitas City Hall. i already know that this will be stressful buhh i'll try and act hella chill about it and NO SLACKING OFF! haha. there are hella things i need to do just for this party and i know some of my BFFL's cant wait. they are more excited for my cotillion than their own! LOL. i hope i dont slack off and it'll turn out the way i want it.